#1

Flash! Who was just caught smoking on school grounds? Flash! How was he caught? Well, students of Lincoln, you've come to the right place. Football star and seemingly Good Samaritan dater Ron Dayton has just been caught smoking on school grounds by the mild and mostly forgettable AP Mr. Pettit. Ron was smoking underneath the stands of the football stadium, which time after time has never been on Mr. Pettit's daily route of the grounds. So how did the invisible man find our quarterback? Here's the juicy part! Ron's current girlfriend Bernice Johnson (Ron must be doing this for charity right?) is apparently a die-hard health nut, granola and all. After days of trying to get to get her hunny-bunny to quit the horrible habit (really though just say no), Bernice went to drastic measures. How did Mr. Pettit know to check out the football stands? Bernice told him! Granted, it was done in good intentions (I guess... Snitch), but now Birch is on a rampage, ruining lunch time smoke breaks for all of your greasers and goth girls out there. And worse than that? If Ron Dayton is caught smoking again, Birch promised to end his football career, and our winning record along with it. I see a storm rising. What's coming next? Will Ron read this and still decide to stick with Bernice, or is she the habit he's going to kick? Only time will tell. Xoxo GG

#2

Flash! Who's fresh on the market? Flash! Who's interested even though she has a man of her own? Well, readers (fans, admirers, etc), time has told, and Ron Dayton is open to business and waiting to be snatched up. After the horrible and devastating heartbreak at the hand of the traitorous Bernice, Ron is now single and ready to mingle. Bernice, however, doesn't have a line of suitors knocking down her doors. It'll take putting on the hottest dance of the year to get her back in any solid social circles anytime soon. She should look into that as a ranking member of the Girls Club. (Possibilities?) anyway, back to news you want to hear: Ron. Yes ladies it's true. He's single, but maybe not for long. I heard tell of a certain popular girl (Gloria Price) spilling grape juice all over the Girls Club rug at the news. To say she was excited in an overstatement. She poured another glass of juice and spilled that too. Needless to say, the rug is ruined (beyond ruined). Who is this klutz in heat? None other than the current girlfriend of kleptomaniac and anger management class skipping Dick Miller. The gum chewing champion in Lincoln High schools last pointless contest might be moving on to another football player. Why date a second string quarterback when you can get the starter? Is this heartless social mobility or a chance to finally seize true love? And how will the one stuck on the sidelines react to missing out on yet another opportunity? See ya later! Xoxo GG

#3

Flash! What two teachers were seen in public together? Flash! And which one left the apparent date early? I love seeing teachers in public, it's like watching an animal in the wild. This Saturday, you'll never guess who attended a Lincoln High football game together. Now, before you say it, teachers never go to the football games. And never together! Therefore this girl is lead to believe it had to be a date, especially when you consider the body language. Their legs touched and they didn't even move (even though there was space). Can you guess? Miss Spencer and Mr. Bell! Math and English, numbers and words, coming to get her at last? You'd think it'd be oil and water... And you'd be right. Turns out that all of those glances in the hall finally built up to a first date last Saturday (who has their first date at a football game? Gag). I wish I was closer to the action, but at a distance it looked like miss Spencer was super angry and stormed off. The rumors on Monday are conflicting. One side says Mr. Bell was two stingy to pay for popcorn and wanted to "go Dutch" (those cheap Dutch), while the jilted male side is saying that Miss Spencer simply didn't like football and that's why she left. Miss Spencer not liking football? Have you seen her classroom? I don't want to be around when Miss Spencer hears people are talking about her not liking football. Look out when that day comes! I wonder if there are any other staff relationships in the works. If I find out, you know where to find the news. See ya later! Xoxo GG

#4

Flash! What blog is getting some heat from the administration? Flash! Which teacher is the prime source? Well, Lincoln High, the day has come! Flash has finally become popular enough to be ruffling some feathers. After the Ron and Bernice post went viral, and Gloria and Ron started dating (just as predicted by yours truly), this blog is finally getting the attention it deserves. However, not everyone is as impressed. For one, a certain girls advisor is not a fan. Feeling that Bernice is being bullied because this blog outed her behind the scenes role as a tattle tale, Miss Ross (the famous fashion police and wannabe red carpet critic) came on the PA system to make a bold announcement. She urges the writer of this blog (me) to cease and desist. She wants to push the author towards the light. She's a pusher! And I bet she's a drug pusher too. No way she can dress like that on an advisor salary alone. Good news readers! I'm not going anywhere. See you later! Xoxo GG

#5

Flash! What blog is getting some heat from the administration? Flash! Which teacher is the prime source? Well, Lincoln High, the day has come! Flash has finally become popular enough to be ruffling some feathers. After the Ron and Bernice post went viral, and Gloria and Ron started dating (just as predicted by yours truly), this blog is finally getting the attention it deserves. However, not everyone is as impressed. For one, a certain girls advisor is not a fan. Feeling that Bernice is being bullied because this blog outed her behind the scenes role as a tattle tale, Miss Ross (the famous fashion police and wannabe red carpet critic) came on the PA system to make a bold announcement. She urges the writer of this blog (me) to cease and desist. She wants to push the author towards the light. She's a pusher! And I bet she's a drug pusher too. No way she can dress like that on an advisor salary alone. Good news readers! I'm not going anywhere. See you later! Xoxo GG

#6

Flash! Whose recent dumping has caused a downward spiral? Flash! Who created the now popular nickname for the previously mentioned dumpee? Ron and Gloria are a hot ticket couple these days. Have you noticed the PDA? (How can you not?) If you aren't distracted by the constant sucking face, maybe you've noticed the new purse dangling on Gloria's arm. Where did she get it? It was a one week anniversary from her new boy toy Ron! Gloria Price lives up to her name with a very expensive taste. If you haven't noticed, I bet you can tell who has: Dick. Dick Miller is not a fan of Ron taking everything away from him, from never taking a play off during the football games to now parading around his stolen girlfriend. Dick's anger is pretty obvious, but what's coming out as a surprise (to you poor readers not already in the know like me), is Dick's kleptomaniac tendencies. Most recently, he took his fathers car out for a joy ride without permission. What's the number one rule in a situation like this? Don't get caught. Dick has never been this lucky. And even worse, Dick now has a new nickname thanks to an up and coming junior Gabby (did you know his real name is Hugh?). First, why is a senior hanging out with a junior, even if they are both in the HiY club. I bet Dick regrets it because this new social climber has created the new nickname: Speed. I guess Gabby has a ton of potential seeing that this nickname and spread and stuck in only a matter of days! Nobody even calls Speed Dick anymore! That's a sign of true popularity. If getting dumped wasn't enough, now Speed can add Gabby to his revenge list (written in lipstick like a weirdo I'm sure) with Ron. I bet this has some possible complications down the line. The only question remaining is how did a poor high school student like Speed pay his traffic ticket fast enough to avoid jail time? I'll look into this for you. See you later! Xoxo GG

#7

Flash! What school staff member still keeps a diary? Flash! And who is the closet romance novel addict? Well, Lincoln High School, these two are one and the same: Miss Chandler! While constantly digging for dirt as I do, I went the extra mile today and rummaged through some desk drawers during the lunch period. You wouldn't believe the number of romance novels this school secretary has stashed away! Tons of them! And of all themes too... Princes, pirates, vampires, Nicholas Sparks, Danielle Steele, the works. Side note: why do all of these covers have a shirtless man on them? Get some more creativity people. Anyway, I think I even saw some tear stains on the most recent read. Why does this single woman rely on novels instead of going out into the real world. She's cute... I mean for an old woman that is. Well, a little more light has been shone on this single lady after discovering, underneath the pile of books moms read on the beach, her diary! And by golly was it an eye opener. As a newspaper woman, I'll do the best I can to relay the information. Apparently, way back in her early twenties, Miss Chandler had a very serious relationship with someone she only refers to as TJ. You won't believe the number of doodles with initials inside hearts. It must have been pretty serious too because she was even including possible wedding plans in these entries. Well, it wasn't all love and games. I did stumble across a rather serious entry (what a downer) about possible future fertility problems. In order to safeguard against this, she made the brave decision to freeze her eggs. Test tube baby anyone? Well apparently, these eggs last longer frozen if already fertilized, and who helped? The elusive TJ! What a guy! At least, that's what I thought until I reached the entry about a note he left on her pillow about leaving for Albuquerque. Seriously? Albuquerque?! Her most recent entries are no longer reality but have drifted into fantasy. Fantasy meet-cutes and the sort. All she wants, apparently, is to meet a guy across a crowded room (preferably at a dance) and fall instantly in love. Don't lose hope Miss Chandler! Maybe someone will read this and invite her to chaperone the Victory Ball. Come on girls, all of you need to get talking and get her to this dance! Well, see ya later! Xoxo GG

#8

Flash! Does anyone know why Mr. Birch would have a passport by the name of. Theodore Jones? Xoxo GG

#9

Flash! Has anyone seen this man walking around campus with a movie camera? Flash! And why is the beauty queen herself going around with him? We all know Mona Fisher. If you don't recognize the name, just look for the girl with way too much make up on. What is she trying to hide under there anyway? She's been slathering on the makeup since she was eleven and a local mall talent agent slash scam artist gave her his card and said she had "the look". Ever since then she has been yearning for the spotlight, that is, without actually doing anything to physically reach for it. Well, this guy is following her around with a camera, now! And that Gabby Gallagher is with them too! Could it be that this up-and-coming junior really is as good as he says he is? Is he really making her dream come true? I just hope we don't have another case of the Talent Scout Strangler on the loose. You remember him, that creepo in the news linked to all of these missing women. Stay safe Mona Fisher! And why does she want to go to. Hollywood so badly anyway? She doesn't even act. See ya later! Xoxo GG

#10

Flash! What office worker longs to be popularity boy? Recently, I've come to the realization that I've been only writing stories that feed to the masses about people who rate highly on a social scale. I feel this is an injustice that needs to be corrected. Paul Chapman, here's your chance to get your face out of the filing cabinet and into the sun! Paul Chapman was born in the outskirts of town on... SIKE NAW. Who am I? Mother Theresa? Do something bold and inspiring dude or nothing will ever get written about you. See ya later! Xoxo GG

#11

Flash! Is Lincoln High School doomed? Have you heard the news? Two star football players might be out of this afternoon's big game! Mervyn Biggs, the dumb cluck, has failed not one but two tests today, making him ineligible for the championship game! He may not have ever played a game in his life, but I have it on good authority (taken from Coach Wilson's personal notes myself) that he has only been kept on the sidelines to help be a secret weapon for the final game. If only we had known sooner, then the teachers might not have been so willing to fail him. If only they'd known how much time and practice he has been putting in to finally earn his varsity letter today. Pop is not pleased to have saved up Clucks talent this far when he might not ever have the chance to lose it now. And what's worse? Ron Dayton might not get to play any more either! Mr. Pettit has found cigarettes in his locker (could Bernice be snitching again from her new spot in singles town?), and now Mr. Birch is pulling him from the game! The weird thing though, is I'm pretty sure Ron is on the patch after that last school incident. So what's going on? My money is on a frame up. And who better to do it than the second stringer looking for a chance on the field? That's right. You know who I mean. Well, keep an eye out for anything else shifty going on today. We need to get these guys back on the field, or at least not lose any one else. See ya later at the game! Or will you? You don't even know who I am. Xoxo GG

#12

Flash! Who's the new sophomore? Flash? And why is everyone talking about her? Shirley Walker is her name. She transferred to Lincoln I gigs this year after spending her freshman year out of state. She went under the radar for these first few months since she has zero friends and never says a word, always keeping her nose in a book. It wasn't until she was kicked out of class today that anyone gave her a second look. "Shirley who? Oh you mean that girl kicked out of class today. That was awesome." Turns out that these second looks are now turning into thirds and fourths as the male population is starting to notice her simple good looks. While this kiddo is rocking the jean jacket today, she is only a sophomore. Maybe the rumor that her father is the billionaire that moved into town is helping her gain more attention too. Word has it she just passes out five dollar bills like its candy! I hope that's the only thing you're giving away, sport. You still have two more years here. Good luck trying to nab a popular kid, let alone a senior or up-and-coming junior. See ya later! Xoxo GG

#13

OMG that. Paul Chapman guy is WAY more interesting than I thought! Oh yeah... Sorry... Flash! Who is now able to play in today's big game? Flash! And what nerdy senior is responsible for making it happen? As most of you know from the buzz around the school, Ron Dayton can now play in today's championship game. No news yet on our secret (so secret it's never been used) weapon Cluck Biggs. I was right, ladies and germs, it was a frame up! Paul Chapman has been in love with Gloria this whole time (sorry for accusing you Speed, but can you blame me you crazy loon?). And since he has been neglected by basically everyone in the whole school, he's finally snapped! He has just confessed to putting the cigarettes in Ron's locker and everything! Wowza! I guess you never can tell with some people. Talk about starving for attention. Well, Paul, you wanted people to know who you are, and now we do. See ya later! Xoxo GG

#14

Flash! Wants some juicy bits of news before this big football game? Flash? Who keeps some interesting writing and then crumples it in the trash? Come on, I know the answer to that first question is ALWAYS yes. And for the second? Miss Chandler is making another come back! This woman is getting a lot of attention lately, especially since she is now a potential chaperone for tonight's dance (way to go girls). I tried to get some more juice from her this afternoon, but all I got out of her is that she will be at the football game. Gloria says she's coming to the dance, so I think that's enough for me to go to print. Well, you'll never believe what I snatched from the trash on my way out! I just saw it there, grabbed it, and pretended like I was super interested in Cluck (who is now able to play in the big game) and sprinted out the door. Well, it seems that Miss Chandler has been stuck in some serious thought today. This crumpled piece of paper has captured her inner thoughts. Apparently there is a student who spends a lot of time in the office that reminds her a lot of TJ. He has his eyes apparently. And a semblance of her mothers chin? This is way too weird. Who is this kid and why is Miss Chandler so obsessed with him? She talks about sticking up for him and defending him a lot, but I've never been on the scene when this has happened so I'm sadly out of the loop. I've only seen her get annoyed at Gabby or tell Paul to keep working. Could it be one of them? Is she saying she has a son? She HAS been quiet and thoughtful, just sitting in the background all day, maybe this is why! Does she seriously think she has a child? And that this child goes to Lincoln. High where she works? Come on! I think you'd know if you gave birth, right? Right. Okay let's win this game! See ya later! Xoxo GG

#15

Flash! Who won the big championship football game? Duh! Lincoln High School! Everyone is raving about Ron Dayton's final winning touchdown, but I would like to give some blog time to the real star of the game, Cluck Biggs. Without him, there wouldn't have even been a touch down! This guy totally deserves his varsity letter. He may have failed two tests, but he certainly isn't a dumb cluck on the football field. Maybe he needs a new nickname. Remember when I talked about Miss Spencer and Mr. Bell's tragic first date? Gossip has it that Mr. Bell accused Miss Spencer of hating football and that's why she failed Cluck. I'm sure I'd hate a sport if my date made me go half sites on nachos too, but to prove that she held no grudges, she allowed Cluck to play. The sketchier gossip has it that Mr. Bell has been bribed by the popularity of the student body to help him play. We might now have a yearbook dedicated to a match teacher and a few weird new cheers at football games, but it's all worth it for Clucks help in the game today. The selfie-taking king is our real star today! And on the romance side, did you notice those two teachers sitting together again at another football game? Apparently the shouting match in the office rescaled some passion and they are giving it another go. Hopefully Mr. Bell was a little more generous with his wallet this time around. And am I imagining it or was love in the air this afternoon? Did anyone else see Mr. Pettit and Miss Chandler sharing an apple ala Lady and the Tramp at the game? I guess it could have been cute if it wasn't also pretty awkward looking. Try it with spaghetti next time guys. Could it be Miss Chandler has found a TJ replacement? Maybe their eyes will meet at the dance and connect. How will Mr. Pettit react if she does have that random kid though? Will he also be leaving for Albuquerque after that shocker? If only he read Flash and new what was actually happening at our school. Maybe he will be convinced that showing up to a school dance is a great way to get to know the student body. That could get him to the dance and help Miss Chandler live out her fantasy. Are you reading this Miss Chandler? Try it out! It might work... See ya later! Xoxo GG

#16

Flash! What LHS student was seemingly the only one left out of the goings on of the principals office drama today? Flash! Who didn't let that stop her from getting the scoop? Let me update you:
- Paul Chapman lied about his confession so Ron could play in the game (our hero!) (And Gloria's too? After that principals office meeting, she didn't stop dancing with Paul all night. Is Gloria on to her next boyfriend???)
- Speed Miller paid off that traffic violation by forcing Gabby to use Hi-Y money to pay for it. Can he sink any lower?
- Bernice Johnson was locked in a closet all afternoon and still pulled off an awesome Victory Ball! Way to go Bernice! Sorry about your previous fall from grace due to this blog, but I'm definitely giving you your props on this one! I see a large rise in your future! So stop dancing with Dick Miller. Fast. Drop him like its hot.
- Did you see the latest Instagram from selfie king Cluck? It seems Shirley Walker has bagged herself a junior, and next years football manager at that! She came to everyone's rescue today, so I'm sure it's true love instead of ruthless ambition from the new rich girl. And hey, did you hear she's the new debate team captain? Rock on! What a day, Lincoln High School! But I'm sure the drama isn't over yet. Stay tuned for an exclusive interview with Paul Chapman himself.
See ya later!
Xoxo GG

#17

Flash! Repost this blog as many times as possible to get this woman home! MISSING: Mrs. Lee. You may know her at the president of the PTA. She was last seen on the day of the big football game with the movie camera salesman Harvey Jones, now under investigation as the Talent Scout Strangler. Turns out that he only came back to the school one final time to get rid of any evidence, his movie camera. Mona Fisher saw him go on a tirade about wannabe fame seekers who were up to no good and constantly getting money from their parents. He really seems to hate these women! It's lucky Mona got out when she did, saving her from Mrs. Lee's unknown fate. Mr. Birch tried to pay for the camera he gave as a gift to Pop Wilson for his championship game, but Jones was nowhere to be seen. I told you he was a creepo! However, more is coming to light about Mrs. Lee herself. While still going around calling herself Mrs. Burton Lee, she actually left Mr. Burton Lee a few months ago, taking half of his riches. Word is she had her sights on the single new billionaire Mr. Walker. Without any luck, she might have gone after someone she thought to be a hot shot movie camera salesman, only to end up a victim. Let's bring this woman home! Xoxo GG

#18

Flash! Who's one day rise in popularity seems to be going strong? Flash! What reporter got an exclusive interview after he signed a written and legal gag order to never reveal my identity? that's right! Paul Chapman is still going strong. After a few dates with serial dater Gloria Price, his dream of her was shattered, and he moved on to something way more substantial. Paul Chapman is now in a healthy relationship with his co-star in this year's school play, Mona Fisher. The two found each other after gaining the confidence to try out for the play, and what do you know, they both got leads! Shirley is also taking time away from her strong debate performance to play a role as well. Her steady boyfriend did not join her on stage, but he is not too far away. Gabby is helping produce the show, and you won't believe the kind of strings he can pull. Amazing! I can't wait to see it! However, back to Paul. Paul is an excellent human being who brought suspenders and floods back in fashion. I for one am a fan! The best part of the interview, though, is a drop in from Paul's mother Mrs. Chapman. An amazing woman, she has had some very interesting jobs, from opera singer (never afraid of where she is or who should here her) and a bail bondsman (bringing about justice as immediately as possible). The Chapmans are a great family. And if you can get over the plastic covering on the couch, doilies on the coffee table, and way too many ceramic frogs everywhere, then join this family for afternoon tea. They have it every day. See ya later! Xoxo GG

#19

Flash! Dick Miller lives up to his name, and I don't mean Speed. It turns out Bernice's chocolate cigarette gift wasn't as innocent as we all thought. Don't worry Bernice, your newly regained level of popularity is not at stake. Dick, you better watch your back. Bernice's gift of chocolate cigarettes was a peace offering on her part for earlier drama, but who knew that it wasn't totally her idea? Dick Miller orchestrated the whole thing? Why, do you ask? So he could play in the championship football game! It turns out Ron was ratted out to the administration again, but this time by Speed who knew Pettit wouldn't be looking in the box at all. You are a stinker, Dick. How dare you? Nobody be friends with him. See ya later! Xoxo GG

#20

Flash! Why were the cops at Lincoln High School today? Flash! Is there a school administrator on the run? Several cops cars arrived sirens blaring after receiving an online tip (my blog?) about the location of a wanted person named Theodore Jones. Theodore Jones is wanted in Albuquerque for armed robbery. Theodore Jones... T... J... TJ! That's right! Theodore Jones is none other than Miss Chandler's ex boyfriend! But that's not all... Cops are aware of a changed identity by TJ, including reconstructed face surgery! You won't believe it! He took some frozen eggs with his DNA and gave them to a surrogate to have a child with the woman he used to love. To help create a life for his new family, he robbed a bank, but had to flee, never meeting the son that was born to him but given up for adoption by the surrogate. Where did that child end up? LHS! Sorry to have to do this to you kid, but it makes great news. The child of Theodore Jones and Miss Chandler is none other than Gabby Gallagher! No wonder they had a natural connection to each other! They're related! Miss Chandler was right to suspect something after seeing a little bit of TJ in the boy. This. Is . Not . All. Theodore Jones is on the run. What face and identity does this man run around with? Mr. Birch! He has been trying his best to track down his son and ex girlfriend and he finally did! There was a brief showdown at the school when the cops arrived. TJ or the principal formerly known as Birch tried to kidnap Gabby and Miss Chandler, and even tried to take out his rival for her affection, Mr. Pettit! Luckily, he was unsuccessful on all three accounts and is now on the run. First the Talent Scout Strangler and now this?! What's the world coming to? See ya later! Xoxo GG

#21

Flash! Girl found. Mrs. Lee has been proven to be alive. And guess what, she was never kidnapped by Mr. Jones at all! Mr. Jones ran into Mrs. Lee at the Victory Ball as she was dropping of the school gift from the PTA. A telescope! Didn't they decide on a new rug for the girls room? That horrendous grape juice stain is still there! Turns out Mrs. Lee decided to go rogue and gave the gift she wanted. Anyway, Mr. Jones and Mrs. Lee have eloped! He didn't kidnap her at all! This evidence comes from a recent Facebook post of their beach ceremony and honeymoon kayaking. True love! I'm so happy that this story has a happy ending. And Mr. Jones, if your beach bungalow gets wireless, I'm sorry about thinking you were a murderer and calling you a creepo. Not my fault though, the evidence was against you. See you later! Xoxo GG

#22

Flash! What newspaper woman has decided to give up her career in the shadows? Flash! What is the perfect last entry for flash.blogspot.com? Well, ladies and gentlemen, wedding bells, they are a ringing! Today's announcements on the PA were interrupted by a surprise proposal from Mr. Pettit to Miss Chandler! Being almost killed by a psycho certainly has a way to strengthen relationships! So cute. We wish you all the best! No more romance novels or diary day dreams for you, lady! Now you can live your crazy life with the one you love. Or should I say two? Miss Chandler and Gabby's mother-son thing started out pretty rocky, but they are now closer then ever. Gabby doesn't get away with nearly as much as before, but he always has someone on his side. What a family! Live long and prosper! And now, readers, I am giving my final sign off. See ya later! Xoxo Jean