#7

Flash! What school staff member still keeps a diary? Flash! And who is the closet romance novel addict? Well, Lincoln High School, these two are one and the same: Miss Chandler! While constantly digging for dirt as I do, I went the extra mile today and rummaged through some desk drawers during the lunch period. You wouldn't believe the number of romance novels this school secretary has stashed away! Tons of them! And of all themes too... Princes, pirates, vampires, Nicholas Sparks, Danielle Steele, the works. Side note: why do all of these covers have a shirtless man on them? Get some more creativity people. Anyway, I think I even saw some tear stains on the most recent read. Why does this single woman rely on novels instead of going out into the real world. She's cute... I mean for an old woman that is. Well, a little more light has been shone on this single lady after discovering, underneath the pile of books moms read on the beach, her diary! And by golly was it an eye opener. As a newspaper woman, I'll do the best I can to relay the information. Apparently, way back in her early twenties, Miss Chandler had a very serious relationship with someone she only refers to as TJ. You won't believe the number of doodles with initials inside hearts. It must have been pretty serious too because she was even including possible wedding plans in these entries. Well, it wasn't all love and games. I did stumble across a rather serious entry (what a downer) about possible future fertility problems. In order to safeguard against this, she made the brave decision to freeze her eggs. Test tube baby anyone? Well apparently, these eggs last longer frozen if already fertilized, and who helped? The elusive TJ! What a guy! At least, that's what I thought until I reached the entry about a note he left on her pillow about leaving for Albuquerque. Seriously? Albuquerque?! Her most recent entries are no longer reality but have drifted into fantasy. Fantasy meet-cutes and the sort. All she wants, apparently, is to meet a guy across a crowded room (preferably at a dance) and fall instantly in love. Don't lose hope Miss Chandler! Maybe someone will read this and invite her to chaperone the Victory Ball. Come on girls, all of you need to get talking and get her to this dance! Well, see ya later! Xoxo GG